


Zimbits July - March updates

by forabeatofadrum (maanorchidee)



Series: Zimbits Updates [15]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: How Do I Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maanorchidee/pseuds/forabeatofadrum
Summary: Here we go again!
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Series: Zimbits Updates [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/695706
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	1. Loud

**Author's Note:**

> *sees that my last installment in this series was in June 2019* *sees that it’s March 2020* *laughs nervously*
> 
> Hi, how are you? I’m doing well. I know I don’t owe y’all an explanation, but here it is anyway. 2019 was not a great year, also writing wise. I basically didn’t feel like writing during all of the last half of 2019. The Klaine Advent got me back in writing, but that’s it. But lately, stories have been in my head, including this one (so today’s prompt isn’t totally random lol) and here I am.
> 
> I do wanna say a huge thanks to the people who have discovered this silly series, because every now and then, I get an e-mail from AO3 with kudos and it turns out that someone has given kudos on all of these silly things. Thank you :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is very loud.

**Year 1**

The first time Bitty hears the loud noise, he stops to register it. Is that… Jack laughing? 

Bitty barely sees his stoic captain, even when he’s baking at the Haus. The others have told Bitty that Jack likes the privacy of his own room and that he spends most of his time reading or watching documentaries inside.

So he doesn’t really know Jack yet and Jack also makes no effort in getting to know Bitty. 

So when he hears a loud roaring laugh, Bitty stops dead in his tracks. Bitty looks around the corner and he sees Jack and Shitty sitting on the gross couch and they’re both absolutely losing it.

“Brah, you should’ve seen the mf-er’s face,” Shitty wheezes out.

Bitty cannot imagine a possible scenario that could make Jack laugh. Maybe he should re-evalute his views on his captain? Bitty shrugs it off and he moves back to the kitchen. He has pies to bake.

* * *

**Year 2**

There is a loud crash from across the hall. Bitty jolts up and he waits for something more. What is going on? It sounded like the crash came from Jack’s room.

After a loud thud, Bitty throws the covers off and he shuffles towards Jack’s room. He knocks gently and both Ransom and Holster also come down.

“What is up?” Ransom says before yawning.

“I don’t know, I just heard a loud crash and then a thud. I knocked, but there’s no reaction.”

Holster rubs his eyes. “Oh fuck.”

Ransom looks a bit solemn.

“Do you guys know what is going on?” Bitty asks them.

Ransom and Holster share a serious look, as if they’re debating whether they should tell Bitty their information. Bitty doesn’t want to wait, so he reaches for the door handle, but Ransom immediately stops him.

“Dude, Shits has got it handled,” Ransom says.

Holster lowers his voice and leans closer. “You didn’t get this from us, but Jack has nightmares. Like, bad ones. He moves around and shit and sometimes he accidentally breaks stuff. He never fucking tells us what it’s about but at least once a few weeks, something like this happens.” 

“Bro, first time it happened? I thought the ghosts were back to haunt me.”

“Bro, how many times do I have to tell you that there are no ghosts.”

“They touched my butt, man!”

“Dude, even if there were ghosts, I’d fucking protect you from them!”

They continue their bickering as they go back upstairs. They are so caught up in their bickering, that they’ve completely forgotten Bitty.

Bitty waits for more loud noises, but it’s quiet except for the soft rumble of Shitty’s voice. He hangs his head and he moves back to his own room. Apparently, even now that they’ve gotten closer, there is still a lot to learn about Jack.

* * *

**Year 3**

The moment the puck hits Jack’s face, he lets out a loud scream. Even the TV picks it up, so back in the Haus, everyone goes silent as they watch how the game gets stopped.

The people in Samwell watch how Tater races towards Jack. Lardo looks sullen. The frogs have stopped cheering. Tango’s face has fallen. Bitty feels like he’s going to die.

That loud scream truly was terrifying. He had no idea that Jack could make that noise. Normally, when he takes a hit on the ice, he just grunts of shrugs it off, but now the paramedics are on the ice as well and the other team looks mortified as well.

“Dude…” is all that Lardo says.

They watch how the paramedics help Jack off the ice and after a small break, the game continues as usual, but Nursey turns off the TV and no one protests. Bitty sits frozen on the green couch (with a cushion for protection, obviously) and he just has to process what just happened.

No more pluot jam in this Haus. 

* * *

**Year 4**

The moment Bitty’s name gets called, a loud applause ensues. Mostly because his damn hockey team has never learned how to be fucking quiet. Chowder and Nursey hold up a handmade banner that says “THERE YOU GO, NUMBER 15!”and Dex is whooping. Bitty looks at the crowd and he can see other students roll their eyes. 

This is why no one likes his hockey team.

Or, not his. Not anymore. He’s wearing his graduation robes and Professor Atley is about to hand him his diploma.

Ah man, who is he kidding? The Samwell Hockey Team will always be his. Bitty accepts his diploma with a big smile and Professor Atley gives him a smile. She has always believed in him, even during the turbulent thesis draft.

The moment he shows his diploma to the crowd, the hockey team starts cheering and roaring again. To Bitty’s surprise, Jack is the loudest of them all.

“Bittle!” he yells loudly, almost making MooMaw fall out of her seat.

Bitty blows him a kiss. Sometimes he cannot believe he can do that now, even in front of his mama and coach. In front of everyone. He’s holding his diploma, he has a group of friends, an amazing boyfriend and a loving family. 

And he has the NCAA championship title.

Bitty’s made it.

* * *

**Later**

Over the years, Bitty’s gotten used to the constant loudness of the house. After all, a baby makes a lot of noise and of course, they had to adopt the most playful dog ever.

But when he hears singing, he stops dead.

Is Jack singing? 

Bitty follows the sound of the music and he watches how Jack is performing for their baby. It’s ridiculous, and their baby is probably too young to fully understand what is happening, but Jack is putting on a show and Bitty enjoys every minute of it. 

If you’d told Bitty in his frog year that Jack was capable of all of this, he would’ve laughed in your face, but oh boy, he was wrong. 

He has the best husband ever.


	2. Director

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's book is being turned into a movie and the movie's director is Eric Richard Bittle.

Jack is buzzing with excitement. His book is being turned into a movie and he can’t be more thrilled. It feels like a big “fuck you” to all the people who doubted him when he chose an author career over an NHL career.

The moment someone approached Jack’s agent with a movie pitch, Jack’s mother wanted to know everything, but Jack told her that this project was going to be a 100% his.

Or, well, his and the director and the other movie people involved.

Today, he is going to meet the director of the movie. He’s named Eric Bittle and according to his mother, he’s an up and coming movie director. So when Jack finally meets him, he had high expectations of this Eric Bittle.

He didn’t expect him to be so cute, though.

Luckily, his agent and best friend Shitty is there to help him out, because Jack himself has been reduced to a stammering mess. At moments like this it’s nice that he’s known for not being the most charismatic, so he hopes that Eric doesn’t realise that Jack’s acting like an idiot because of a growing crush.

At one point, Shitty gives him a knowing smile and Jack’s tempted to flip him off, but Eric turns back before he can do it.

“Do you have any more questions, gentlemen?” Eric asks and Jack feels the shame rising when he realises that he’s barely registered what has been said. He was too focused on Eric.

Damnit. This is his movie debut. He cannot screw it up.

Luckily, Shitty swoops in. “Can we have the concrete plans on paper so that we can discuss it with our editor?”

The editor has no say in this, but Eric doesn’t have to know that. Jack’s been told that this is the first time that Eric is working on an adaption from a book. 

“Of course,” Eric says and Jack lets out a relieved sigh. Now he can read it, so he won’t miss out.

“Great!” Jack says.

“Anything else?” Eric asks and damnit, his eyes are so warm and welcoming.

Jack remains silent and both Eric and Shitty are looking at him for an answer. When Jack keeps silent, Shitty clears his throat.

“I do have a request,” he says and Jack turns towards him. What is Shitty planning? “Can I be the best man at your future wedding?”

Eric turns red and Jack almost feels like fainting, but Shitty looks extremely smug and very proud of himself. Jack’s gonna kick his ass the moment they get out of here.

Jack is about to apologise for Shitty’s unprofessionalism, but Eric takes a deep breath and says: “Can I ask him out for dinner first?”

Shitty looks absolutely delighted and Jack once again feels like he’s going to faint, but for a different reason now.

“You- you want to?”

“Do you want to?” Eric asks nervously.

Jack nods eagerly - maybe too eagerly - and Eric starts to smile. 

“Fuck yeah, you guys can thank me later!” Shitty yells out.

* * *

Five years later, they do indeed thank Shitty in their wedding vows and they thank him again for being a great best man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was so weird to use “Eric” instead of “Bitty”.


	3. Guidance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh okay. Yes, it is April. I had these prompts generated when I wrote the first ones, but I had no clue what to do so eeeeh.

Bitty curses himself for choosing French as his language course. He had gravely underestimated this damned language. 

“You can always check craiglist for a tutor,” Lardo says when Bitty shares his problems with her.

“Craiglist, really?”

Lardo shrugs. “Look man, except for Jack, no one on this hockey team speaks French and I know that the tutors provided by the university can be shit expensive, so at times like this, Craiglist is you bestie.”

And that is how Bitty finds himself scrolling through the Craiglist app, cursing himself. He just needs some simple guidance about French. He sighs and he closes the app and he looks over to Señor Bun. “Bun, this is not working at all.”

He has only one last resort. He can always ask Jack. 

“Bun, should I do this?” Bitty asks his stuffed bunny. Lardo doesn’t know the exact reason why Bitty doesn’t want to ask Jack. Lardo doesn’t know that Bitty realised that his feelings have shifted. 

It’s not that he doesn’t want to see Jack anymore, since that is literally impossible, but he just hopes that these feelings will die away.

He moves to the hallway and he stands in front of Jack’s door. He raises his fist to knock. Suppressing feelings will have to wait one more day.


	4. Menu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me??? Writing a future fic with kids??? Yes, apparently I do that now. 
> 
> Just a heads up: I didn’t name the kids, since this is the first time writing about Zimbits’s kids (I usually try to have the same kid characters for ships, so…), so feel free to name them yourselves. Jack refers to them as “Pieces”, based on that tumblr text post about Jack saying that he loves his family to bits and pieces. Unfortunately, I can’t find it anymore.

When Jack comes home, he doesn’t expect his daughter to be standing in the hallway, wearing a tux, with a very serious look on her face.

“Piece, what is going on?” Jack asks, but she just shakes her head and takes Jack’s coat before he can say anything else.

“Just follow me, Mr. Bittle-Zimmermann,” she says with a very fake-sounding posh voice and she walks away. Amused, Jack follows her to find his other son standing in the dining room. He’s also wearing a tux and he has the same look on his face.

“Again, Pieces, what is going on?”

But both children shake their heads in perfect unison, which looks kind of creepy, and his daughter motions towards him to keep following her, so Jack does.

Then he sees it.

The dining table is decorated beautifully. A lit candle stands next to a bouquet of red roses. The table has been set with the most expensive plates and cuttery from Moomaw. There are two glasses of water. Two menu’s are lying on the plates.

“The other Mr. Bittle-Zimmermann will arrive soon. In fact, I shall fetch him,” his son says and he actually bows before leaving. His daughter goes to dim the lights. Jack looks around in awe. The entire dining room is cleaned up.

Did he miss something? Is there a forgotten anniversary? 

“Oh… my Lord,” Jack hears and Bitty is standing in the doorway. He has the same amazed look on his face as he looks around. His eyes eventually land on Jack. “Jack, did you do all of this.”

Jack immediately shakes his head. “I thought it was you, but I think the Pieces did it.” He looks at the children who are standing behind Bitty. Bitty follows his gaze.

“Oh kids…”

“Please sit down, mr. and mr. Bittle-Zimmermann. The first course will arrive soon,” their daughter says and their son leaves for the kitchen. Jack and Bitty follow orders and Bitty laughs when he flips the menu to read it.

> _First course: microwave popcorn_
> 
> _Second course: frozen pizza_
> 
> _Dessert: yoghurt with strawberries_

“We’re only twelve, can you blame us? This is the best we can do,” their daughter says and for the first time, she breaks character by smiling. Their son arrives with two bowls of popcorn.

“When I was you age, I’d already baked fifty different pies,” Bitty says.

“We can’t all be kitchen royalty, dad,” both children say in unison. Once again, it is creepy, but Jack and Bitty sort of assumed it’s part of being twins.

“Still, this is more romantic than the one time I took your dad out for a date at a chicken diner,” Jack shrugs and Bitty dramatically rolls his eyes.

“Kids, to what do we owe this pleasure?” Bitty asks.

The kids share an excited look. 

“See it as a belated father’s day gift. We’ve got two dads, so double the effort,” their son says. 

“And you two have been so busy with dad’s new cookbook coming out and papa’s coaching, so we decided to give you a proper date,” their daughter adds.

As if on a cue, both kids go back into character. 

Their daughter bows and says: “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be waiting till it’s time for the next course.”

Their son also bows and the two of them promptly walk away. Both Jack and Bitty watch them go with a fond look on their faces.

“We looked out,” Bitty says and he looks back to Jack, “We truly did.”

“… do we eat popcorn with a knife and fork?” Jack says and Bitty laughs.

Bitty raises his glass of water and says: “To the kids. Happy father’s day.”

“Happy father’s day.”


	5. Addition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The origin of Amélie, a dog that I always imagine Jack and Bitty having.

Bitty sees the dog before he sees Jack.

The little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is looking at him with droopy eyes. Bitty has never seen this dog before. The dog barks and spins and Bitty cannot resist. 

How could he resist? Bitty crouches down and he starts petting the dog.

“Where did you come from?” he cooes.

“I found her in the park,” Jack says. Bitty looks up and he smiles when he sees his husband. Jack is still wearing his jogging clothes, which of course are non-distinguishable from his usual clothes. 

“Her?”

“Well, I scooped her up and immediately took her to the vet,” Jack says and then he frowns. “Bits, I am three hours late.”

Bitty looks up in shock. Jack nods towards the clock and yes, Jack is indeed home later than usual. 

“Oh. Uh. I was too busy with the mince pies.”

Bitty scratches the dog behind her ears and she lifts her head appreciately. Bitty’s heart melts instantly.

“She’s unchipped and she’s kind of underfed, but she’s healthy enough and if we feed her enough, she’ll be in great shape soon.”

“What are you saying?” Bitty asks, but he smiles. He already knows what Jack is saying.

“… I named her Amélie.”

Of course, Jack has already named her. 

Bitty keeps petting the dog -Amélie- and Jack crouches down as well. Amélie must already know Jack well enough, because she immediately jumps on him. How can anyone abandon this sweetheart?

Bitty watches Jack cuddle with Amélie and he knows that they probably should’ve talked about this and they also desperately need to buy pet supplies _and god forbid_ , what if Amélie makes a mess of the kitchen?

But then, Amélie puts her head on Jack’s lap and the deal is done.

“Welcome the new addition to the family.”


	6. Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is being written on April 11th, aka the day Check, Please! ends. In 4 hours, it will be over. Not this series, though. There is obviously a delay due to the lack of ideas, but I did want to publish one today. 
> 
> Anyway, I came across [this post](https://foryouandbits.tumblr.com/post/151771413095/i-dont-think-we-talk-about-this-frame-enough) yesterday and it made me think: what if Jack had left, not knowing that Bitty was in Chowder’s room? The bolded text is also the writing of foryouandbits, the OP.
> 
> Huh. Sorry for the angst on this special day.

“Bittle!” Jack yells out and he basically flings himself at the doorframe. His heart is racing. He needs to talk to Bittle.

His heart rate speeds up when he sees that the room is empty. This is not a welcome change. Jack is lost for words when he looks at the empty room. Jack’s eyes fall on the suitcase, so Bitty must still be somewhere on campus. After all, his door is wide open. But where is he?

Jack’s shoulders slump when he realises that Bitty’s not there. 

_He’s not here._

_Oh God, he’s not here._

Jack’s stunned into silence and with hunched shoulders, he walks away in defeat. He’s goes downstairs and he peeks into the kitchen, just to be sure, but it is as empty as Bitty’s room.

_I waited all this time._

_You’re an idiot, Jack._

During the entire walk back to the quad, Jack’s silent. He looks down. He should take this opportunity to take it all in for the last time, but the empty feeling ruins it all. This is not how the story is supposed to go.

“You’re right,” Jack hears and Johnson is leaning against a tree. Where did he come from? “This is not how the story is supposed to go, my friend. You should’ve turned around. But it will still be fine.”

“Johnson, I am not in the mood for your cryptid mood,” Jack grumbles.

“I know. Have a nice day, Jack!” Johnson tips his cap and he walks away. Jack shakes his head in confusion and he continues his walk.

His parents and George are talking animatedly, but his dad frowns when he sees Jack approaching.

“Let’s go,” Jack says without meeting anyone’s eyes, “We have a reservation.” Then, without waiting for anyone’s approval, he starts walking towards the parking lot. He needs to leave as soon as possible.

«Is everything alright, Jack?» his dad whispers when he catches up.

«Yes, let’s just go.»

«Jack!» his dad puts his hand on Jack’s shoulder, so that Jack would slow down.

But Jack just shakes his dad’s hand away and continues walking.

_Why didn’t you say something sooner?_

_You missed your chance._


	7. Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *posts Confusion*  
> Me: …  
> Me: _I CAN’T FUCKING END IT LIKE THIS. NOT TODAY!!!_

Everyone’s noticed the unexpectend sour mood. At dinner, his mother tries to find out what has happened, but Jack just shakes his head. George looks torn between asking what is going on and respecting Jack’s privacy. His dad tries to lighten the mood, but it isn’t working out.

Jack feels bad. This should’ve been a celebration, but he’s too devastated to even pretend to be happy. 

His parents and George are talking and every now and then, they look over at him in concern, but Jack just shrugs it off. At least, that what it looks like. Internally, his thoughts are going everywhere.

… when did this start? At what point did Jack fall in love with Bitty without realising?

Most importantly: why didn’t he realise sooner?

Jack plays with his food while he tries to answer these questions. He surely does know when he stopped hating Bitty.

Well, did he ever truly hate Bitty? Sure, he was annoyed by him several times in their first year together, but looking back on everything, Jack can’t say that he’s ever hated him. But there was a definite change somewhere this year.

This year has been crazy, but in a good way. And Bitty is one of the reasons. This is the year where they became friends, but somewhere, it must’ve blossomed into more.

Was it the PSL hangouts at Annie’s? The many study sessions at Founders? Or maybe it was all the chirping? 

Huh.

Looking back, Jack’s really spent a lot of time with Bitty this year, maybe even more than with Shitty. 

His thoughts go back to the food seminar. That’s when they truly started hanging out off the ice. The baking assignment was a pivotal point in their friendship. 

Jack’s almost shaking in his seat and he hasn’t had a single bite from is unnecessarily expensive meal. His mother is looking at him again and judging by the look on her face, she’s about to ask what is wrong.

So Jack basically jumps out of his seat and he drops his fork in the process. His parents and George look up in shock and confusion.

“I need to make a call,” Jack says immediately and without waiting for any response, he bolts out of the restaurant. His mind his reeling. He needs to talk to Bittle.

Even if Bitty doesn’t like him back, he can’t do this. He can’t keep it all in. Bitty might be in the air, or maybe he’s already landed, but Jack needs to call. At this point, he doesn’t even need Bitty to feel the same. He just wants Bitty to know that he’s amazing and kind and lovely and so important to Jack, so he speeddials Bitty’s number the moment he’s outside.

Jack wants to thank God when Bitty picks up.

“Jack, hello?” Bitty sounds a bit confused.

“Hi, hello, sorry,” Jack says and now that his mind is calming down, he realises that he has no fucking clue what he’s doing and what he should say. Oh. “Hi there.”

Bitty chuckles. “My, my, Jack Zimmermann, you sound all out of breath. Don’t tell me you’re out for a jog. You should be moving in!”

“No, uhm, no, I am not jogging. Not now. I, uh, I just needed to talk to you.” Yes, that is a good start. “Do you have time?”

“Well, I just got home so lay it on me,” Bitty says.

Jack doesn’t outrightly say that he loves him, because he doesn’t want to scare Bitty off. He knows that he is not the best at speaking, but Jack just goes for it, hoping it’ll be coherent at one point.

“I just wanted to talk to you, Bitty. I just need you to know that you are an amazing person and that I loved spending time with you in the past two years.”

“Two years?” Bitty says mockingly.

Jack rolls his eyes. “Alright. We got off to a wrong start, but this year has been one of the best of my life and that is mostly thanks to you.”

“Jack-”

“I just want you to know that I- uh, I really like spending time with you and at first…” Jack takes a deep breath. “At first I thought it was just because we were becoming great friends, but I have realised that I’d like there to be more. I mean, I want there to be more. If you want that as well.”

Silence.

“There is no- I mean, I could understand if- With hockey-” Great. He had to throw the hockey in there, right? Oh God, he strange surge of confidence is slowly ending into dread. 

“Jack. Stop,” Bitty says suddenly and Jack wishes that he could just vanish. He can’t believe he did this. And sure, he doesn’t expect anything, but rejection still stings.

But then Bitty laughs softly.

“Yes, I want that as well.”

Jack’s eyes widen. “Y-You do?”

Bitty laughs loudly now. “Oh God. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting that, mister! When can I see you?”

“Uh, I don’t know yet…”

“Can you come down to Madison, maybe? I just… I really want to see you in person now.” 

“Yes, yes, of course!” Jack says and a wide grin spreads on his face. He did it! He’s told Bitty and not only that, but Bitty likes him back and now he’s inviting him to come down.

“Great,” Bitty sounds very happy.

“Yeah. I, uh, have to go back to dinner. But I’ll text you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll text you.”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

And with that, they hang up. On his way back to the table, Jack can’t contain his happiness and he immediately texts Bitty. Oh wow, it is happening.


	8. Hotel

“This is stupid.”

Jack sighs and on the screen of his laptop, Shitty continues his rant. 

“Like, the whole idea of the groom and the, well, _groom_ not being able to see each other until the actual wedding is an outdated patriarchal mindset that stems from old sexist traditions.”

“Isn’t the whole idea of marriage a patriarchal trap, Shits?” Jack says. He knew this was coming the moment Jack had told Shitty about booking a room at the nearby hotel.

Bitty and Jack are getting married tomorrow. They’re spending their last night as unwedded people apart. Now, Jack honestly does not care about all these “rules”. Bitty doesn’t either, but his family does. Bitty’s family, close and extended, has recovered from the initial coming out shock and now everyone’s over the moon with the whole idea of them getting married. 

But the more conservative part of the family still had one request: a traditional wedding night. 

Now, it is kind of ridiculous, since everyone is aware of their “involvement”, as Suzanne calls it, but they still insisted on it. Bitty’s aunt from his dad’s side even wanted to pay for Jack’s stay.

“Yes, but people have improved on the original ideas about the matrimonial institution, Jack-a-belle. But this? This is all just one big ploy with the sexist interest in female “virginity”-” Shitty uses air quotes when he says virginity “-and sexuality. It doesn’t even make sense that you have to do this. You guys don’t even have the patriarchal concept of female “virginity”, since you’re both men!”

Jack groans. “I know that, Shits.”

At this point, they should’ve just eloped. Jack is happy that his family is at least chill about the entire wedding planning. 

Shitty deflates. “Sorry. Don’t wanna be such an ass on your last night as a fiancé.”

“It’s fine, Shits,” Jack falls back on the bed. He’s incredibly bored on his own, so Shitty’s feminist rant gives him something to focus on. “You’re totally right. This is the worst idea we’ve had since the yellow shoes debacle.”

“I can’t believe Bitty tried to throw out your shoes, brah,” Shitty shakes his head at the memory, “Thought he’d learned his lesson years ago.”

Jack is lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It takes him less than a minute to yell: “Okay, fuck this. I’m calling Bittle!”

Shitty does a fake shocked gasp. “But Jack, the traditional wedding?”

Jack winks towards Shitty. “Shits, don’t tell the Bittle-Phelps, but I think we’re gonna get involved.”

Shitty makes some finger guns. “Sike, go for it. I’m definitely gonna hang up, cause I do not need to see your involvement.”

Shitty disconnects the call before Jack can say goodbye, so Jack calls Bitty. He picks up almost immediately.

“Hey Bits.”

“Well, well, well, I thought we weren’t supposed to see or hear or touch each other till we walk down the aisle.”

“I can’t stand being apart. This is ridiculous. Come over, please?”

Before Jack can say anything else, there’s a knock on the door of the hotel room.

“Great minds think alike, sweetpea. I’m already here.”

Jack smiles. Bittle’s more conservative family might roll around in their future graves when they hear this, but what they don’t know, doesn’t hurt.


	9. Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty are being judged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so stupid oh God

“Mothers and fuckers of the jury-”

Bitty groans, but Shitty continues his monologue. It is incredibly awkward to be sitting on the green couch with barely any clothes on. Shitty didn’t even give him the time to grab a pillow, so now Bitty is in direct contact with the couch.

Jack is sitting next to him with a stoic face. He at least managed to grab a shirt before Shitty dragged him downstairs. Not that Bitty would’ve minded the alternative. It’s just kind of embarrassing to be sitting in front of the frogs, the tadpoles and the waffles like this.

“We are here -against our wishes- to give a final verdict about the lack of responsibility that you two have shown. Tango did not have to see you two getting it on in Bittle’s room.”

“Or Tango could’ve just knocked,” Bitty says under his breath. He looks over to Tango, who does seem traumatised. The frogs are torn between being worried and laughing out loud. 

“Luckily for Tony Tangredi, Lards and I had just driven down from Boston, and with the power of law, I have now started this case. This is my courtroom now, bitches.”

Lardo nods. She’s transcribing the whole thing on her phone.

“Can’t I just pay the bail in advance?” Jack asks. He’s remarkably calm, but he’s used to Shitty’s shenanigans.

Shitty shushes him. “Eric Bittle, Captain of the hockey team, do you have anything to say for yourself.”

“I hope y’all burn in hell,” Bitty says and Lardo snorts.

Shitty ignores him and he turns to Jack. “Jack Zimmermann, NHL player and alum, do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“I want a lawyer.”

Shitty slams the coffee table with a Gatorade bottle, since he doesn’t have a gavel. “This is America, brah! Our justice system is heavily skewed, so there will be no lawyer for you. Now, the jury will discuss before giving us the final verdict.”

Without any discussion, Nursey yells: “Guilty!”

Before Shitty can slam his Gatorade bottle again, Bitty looks over to the “jury” and he takes his time so that he can look everyone straight in the eyes. “No pies till my graduation.”

Nursey’s eyes widen in shock and Dex’s jaw drops.

“Not guilty!” Chowder immediately yells. 

“The jury says not guilty!” Ford also says and the waffles all nod in sync.

Shitty twirls his mustache before saying: “Alright, not guilty, but can you at least compensate Tango for the emotional damage that you have caused him.”

“… knock next time,” Bitty sighs and he gets up. This is not what he expected when Jack arrived at the Haus earlier. 


End file.
